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A Conservative’s Guide to Campus

Ignatius P. Wentworth wants you to avoid a pungent student experience if at all possible.
A Conservative’s Guide to Campus

Welcome to Sydney University. Having chosen the best university in Australia, you now realise that you must contend with the smell. A smell which emanates from outside Carslaw (the ugly building next to Eastern Avenue lecture theatre, which is the ugly building next to the Law Building). In particular, it emanates from a table – the socialist’s table.

Fear not,  the stench of socialism is dispersing as the latte-sippers, liberals, useless lefties, chattering classes and  twitterati replace the shampoo adverse Trotskyists. This metamorphosis of the left makes them no less contemptible. However it does mean that you lose that up-turned nose look, which some mistake for smugness, but which is actually a natural reaction to the odour.

Nonetheless, welcome to Sydney University, and welcome to the only clean-shaven, soap (preferably Molton Brown (by royal appointment)) promoting publication on campus.

As you begin your tertiary education here, you should note that lecturers at Sydney University are as biased as the ABC. If you happen to agree with them then you probably think they are balanced, just like the ABC. This also means that many are extremely left wing, just like the ABC.

On that note, if you do believe that a lecturer’s bias is particularly grating, let us know, so that we can name and quote them. Send in quotes as I plan to produce a ‘best of’ list for every issue of Mon Droit ( Do not worry the tip will be anonymous.


The best advice we can give you in exams is to write like a communist.

I am certainly not advocating tacit agreement in tutorials. Whilst challenging left wing indoctrination, you have the opportunity to assume the front line of the culture wars as a student.

The ultimate Culture Warrior is of course the conservative arts student, in particular a conservative student who does Gender Studies and Political Economy, as yet a mythical figure. But beware your mind may explode from the leftism if you do actually pursue that path, so we would advise against it.


Having offered some advice on approaches to your studies –  we should also give some thoughts on where to attain your daily victuals. Avoid the places off campus which can also be found on the NSW Food Authority’s register of penalty notices and there are a few. To avoid any accusations of vindictiveness, we will not reprint the list here.

Special mentions:

  • The milkshakes are amazing at Mint Café, just next to the co-op
  • Pasta from Parma opposite Sci-Tech is passable (also Panini and Pizza slices),
  • the food at Wentworth is better than that at Manning, but is a bit heavy.
  • Salad from USU Raw can include Quinoa, so you can blend in with the aforementioned latte-sippers if you so wish.
  • Subway and Taste are like Subway and Taste respectively and evince the excellence of non-union, commercial enterprise on campus – God willing, we’ll have more of it!

Coffee on campus isn’t that great either but people rave about the Campos coffee on offer at Taste. Ralph’s is supposed to be good but is just too far away for Mon Droit.

I’ve levelled a lot of criticisms at the USYD experience. Just to put things into perspective, look up, you could be at UTS. So, it is not all bad, just join the Liberal Club – the club which gave birth to the political careers of John Howard, Bronwyn Bishop, Tony Abbott,Malcolm Turnbull – and fight for your beliefs on campus.

Yours Faithfully,

Ignatius P. Wentworth

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